


3 times Sam is wrong and one time he isn’t.

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boys In Love, Getting Back Together, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Stanford Era (Supernatural), Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:06:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25092073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sam knew it was wrong but it didn't stop him from wanting it. It was consuming him, seeing Dean with everyone but himself. But what was more consuming than this was the fact that there's nothing in return for him.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	3 times Sam is wrong and one time he isn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to try a new style, hope y'all like it!!

It’s his first week at another new school in a small town in Illinois. Dean’s down the hallway walking towards Sam, winking at every pretty girl on his way and sweeping them off their feet with his perfect features and his too-big stupid leather jacket. He’s just a few days away from dropping out again.

“I’m skipping school today.”

“Can I come with you?”

“No, I got some stuff to do. I’ll pick you up later.”

His heart’s getting bigger and heavier in his chest because the first thing comes to his mind as the reason why Dean is ditching him is to fuck some nameless girl in the back of the Impala. He bites the inside of his cheeks to blink his tears back and fakes a smile because Dean seems to be happy, he doesn’t want to bother him. It’s the first time Sam realizes the feelings he has for Dean are more than a brother should feel for another. What he’s feeling is impure, it’s his shame. It’s his shame because he wants to be one of those girls and there is no way Dean will ever want him the way he does. _It’s the first time Sam is wrong._

* * *

Another year, another state, another town in the middle of nowhere and another shitty motel. Dean’s too old to go to school anymore, Sam’s all alone. Dean works at a mechanic shop, he still drops him off and picks him up. One afternoon Sam waits for Dean to pick him up, he never shows up so he goes to the local library. Dean texts him saying they have an emergency repair and that he’s sorry. Sam ignores him. They gently kick him out when it’s the closing time, he walks back to the motel. Dean should be back already, but he’s not there and the car’s gone too. Sam eats the leftovers, does his homework and waits, waits, waits for Dean to come back. His eyes are closing and the clock goes something a.m, Sam lays down on Dean’s bed and inhales his scent. He’s too busy to pick Sam up but he’s not busy to waste himself in a ratty bar and to screw a girl. He cries himself to sleep because it hurts so much. Because he can’t have him like those girls do. Because Dean doesn’t care about him the way he cares about those girls. After that night he starts to give come-and-see-me-sometime look to boys with green eyes and dirty blonde hair. It’s not long before he drops to his knees in the locker room, letting the no name boy use his mouth for all its worth. The boy fists his hands in Sam’s hair and it hurts, for a second he forgets about the pain stabbing his heart with its every beat and he loves it. He thinks he’ll be able to forget and pretend they’re Dean’s eyes looking down at him with lust. _It’s the second time Sam is wrong._

* * *

He watches Dean every day and night, whoring himself to everyone but him. He leaves his food and goes outside every time Dean goes to the back of the diner with a frisky waitress. He fakes a smile when Dean fills him in about the details of his latest hookup, excuses himself and goes to bathroom to bite his fist while crying his eyes out. He lets more strangers use him in time, flees from their room nearly every night to go to bars after bars until he finds someone who satisfies the criteria or until someone kicks him out. He lets them get their way with him. He’s dirty anyways, he’s scarred and corrupted. He doesn’t deserve anything more than this. He doesn’t mind when they’re hard and rough, he considers it a blessing because only then this unbearable hopeless love that’s been growing inside of him goes away. He applies for college and gets into Stanford. It’s his chance to escape from this never ending torture. He can forget about Dean in time, he can meet new people, build himself a new life and burry the feelings that should never see the daylight into his heart. He packs his stuff, dad’s yelling at him and threatening him, telling him not to come back if he walks out that door. Dean’s silent, watching them from the corner. He’s more angry at Dean than he’s at dad because his silence means he’s at dad’s side. Dad bolts out of the room, he’s going to spend himself like he always does. Sam finishes packing and Dean’s still silent. He walks up to him and begs.

“Come with me Dean, please. We can have a new life, a normal life. You and me against the world like we always do.”

Dean’s still silent, he glances away.

“I’m begging you Dean please, don’t leave me alone.”

He takes a deep breath and faces his brother. He has something in those emerald orbs Sam can’t quite name back at that time. His voice is ice cold, Sam thinks he’s just about to die.

“I’m sorry Sammy, I can’t. I’m staying with dad.”

Sam quickly grabs his bags and bolts out of the room. It starts to rain and raindrops start to mix with his tears. He holds a hand out for a car to stop and it does, he turns back and takes a final look at their motel. He can give the world to see Dean coming out that door. But he never does. He gets inside the car and goes to the bus terminal. He knows it’s the last time he sees Dean, he knows he has to move on because Dean will never come to him. Not to bring him back home or not to share this new life with him. Sam is as good as dead to Dean. _It’s the third time Sam is wrong._

* * *

A tough year passes, he finally settles into his new life. He cries himself to sleep less, he catches himself before dialing his number more. He makes friends, he starts to work at a shop and spends most of his time studying. Now he’s sitting at the living room of his little apartment, talking and laughing with Jessica, a sweet and smart girl he’s dating. They’re sharing a bottle of wine, an old classic is playing in the background. In the late afternoon, he goes outside to take the trash out. His heart beats a little faster when he sees a familiar figure passing by his house. He shrugs and quickly pulls himself together. It’s not the first time his mind plays games on him, it’s not the first time he gets heartbroken over a stranger who he assumed is Dean. He gets this excited when he catches a glimpse of green eyes or a leather jacket. He gets this excited when he sees a black muscle car turning around corner. But this one looks so much like Dean, the way he walks, the way the collar of his leather jacket is up high, the way his cologne smelled just like Dean’s. _It’s the one time Sam is not wrong._

* * *

He goes back inside but his mind’s stuck at outside. He runs to the door when he hears the ring bell. Tears fill his eyes when he sees Dean at his doorstep, all flesh and blood. Dean smiles at him and all the pain he’s suffered goes out of the window.

“Hi Sammy.”

“Dean! I... I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Yeah me too.”

“Why did you come?”

“To take you home.”

Dean grabs the back of his neck and seals their lips together. Their souls become one, one soul separated into two bodies. Sam cries, his tears mix up into their kiss and Dean’s thumbs wipe his tears. The kiss takes all of Sam’s pain and heartbreak away, and brings so much joy and hope instead. It’s magical, fireworks are being set off and everything around them disappears. Sam knows he’s home, he knows he’s safe and it’s two of them against the whole world. Dean pulls back and smiles at him. Sam swears the night turns into day. He rushes inside, Jessica follows him into their bedroom. She asks who’s the guy at the door, Sam says nothing and shoves his stuff into his bags. He holds Jessica’s hands and smiles at her.

“I’m sorry Jess but I need to go.”

“You’re not coming back, are you?”

“No, I’m not.”

Jessica smiles and squeezes his hands insightfully. She helps him carry his bags downstairs and watches Sam go with the handsome guy with green eyes who she assumed from Sam’s descriptions is Dean. Sam grins from ear to ear when he feels the Impala’s rumbling through his bones, Dean grabs the wheel with one hand and intertwines their fingers with the other.

“Why now Dean?”

“I tried to deny it and run from it for so long that I can’t run anymore.”

“What about all those girls?”

“I did all of those to push you away, I thought if I can you push you away then I can come through my feelings.”

“Why didn’t you come with me that night? I begged you.”

“My whole world came crushing down around me over that night. But I thought it was the best for you. You deserved better than me. I wanted to give you the normal life you always wanted, my pain was the last thing I was concerned about. You were going to be away and I wasn’t going to be able to corrupt you and stain you with my shame.”

He sighs and pulls the car over. He looks at Sam’s face, tries to engrave the picture to his brain.

“I know it was selfish of me to come here and ruin your life. But I couldn’t help it because I love you Sammy. I always did and I always will, nothing can change that and nothing can come between us.”

Sam flutters his eyes shut and inhales deeply. The air filling his lungs is pure life. He prays to God that it’s not some sort of dream he’s about to wake up from and opens his eyes.

“I love you too Dean. I don’t care about the rest of the world unless I have you by my side.”

Their lips meet again and their hands travel through their bodies for the first time. It’s the messenger of the many more times that’s about to come. The times that they’re going to share together. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments are welcome :)


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